Musings of a Badlands Ranch Wife

Mom, Nana, ranch wife, and school teacher living each day with hope, grace, and resilience

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Greetings from the Plains and Badlands of the upper Midwest. My personal journey from city girl to ranch wife, Mom, Nana, and high school teacher has been blessed with adventures, challenges, triumphs, and failures- nothing that one could claim as unique, just all part of God’s plan for me. Join me on this journey, laugh with me, ponder with me, and maybe we can travel the road ahead together.

  • We Need More Bells

    Bells and the Christmas season- can you have one without the other? Sleigh bells ring, jingling all the way, while we go caroling, caroling, caroling to the sounds of silver bells on a sleigh ride through a beautiful white Christmas.  Whew- not easy combining songs into one sentence! If you truly believe, you can hear the jingle of a bell at Christmas time, and we know that every time you hear the chime, an angel gets its wings. My all-time favorite, however, is Henry Wadsworth Longfellow’s poem, “I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day.” Longfellow penned this poem on Christmas Day during the Civil War. He recently lost his wife in a tragic accident when her dress caught fire by the hearth, his son was critically injured serving for the Union and was in a military hospital, and his remaining five children were in his sole care while the country was nobly trying to self-destruct. We can only pretend to understand his heartbreak, fear, grief, and despair. Yet, he was able to find hope, a belief in a higher power that could bring peace not only to his troubled soul but also to the violence and destruction that the war had brought to his beloved country. I wish I had his strength, his grace in the moments when I am feeling troubled, frustrated, and lost. My troubles are absolutely ridiculous compared to Longfellow’s, but my faith renews when I read this poem- if he could feel hope, then I think we all can. If he could believe in the promise of peace, then we have no excuses. There can be peace, and it can begin with us.  I am sharing the lyrics of the hymn that was created from this poem- I hope they remind you of the true spirit of the season and bring you peace.

    I heard the bells on Christmas day 

    Their old familiar carols play,

    And mild and sweet their songs repeat 

    Of peace on earth good will to men.

    And in despair I bowed my head: 

    “There is no peace on earth,” I said.

    “For hate is strong and mocks the song 

    Of peace on earth, good will to men.”

    Then rang the bells, more loud and deep:

    “God is not dead, nor does He sleep.

    The wrong shall fail, the right prevail

    With peace on earth, good will to men.”

    Then ringing, singing on its way,

    The world revolved from night to day. 

    A voice, a chime, a chant sublime, 

    Of peace on earth, good will to men!

  • Cows and Kids

    I am a rancher’s wife and a rancher’s mom. For some, that might not mean a lot, but for those who have walked in the shoes behind a rancher, you know where I am coming from. Now, do not get me wrong, I love being a rancher’s wife as much as I love teaching. Really, I find both careers very similar. Let me explain-

    1. Chasing cows is like herding students. They all have a mind of their own and know where they want to be.
    2. Ranchers need their neighbors- some jobs are just too big to do alone. Teachers need each for the very same reason.
    3. There are just some things out of our control- in nature and in our students’ lives. Mother nature will always win in ranching, I can promise you that. In the classroom, we do our best with the time that we have our kids, hoping that it is enough.
    4. Ranchers are the toughest people I know. Forty below and a blizzard and you will find them walking the pens, checking for new calves, making sure the cows are bedded down, and sacrificing their own well-being for the love of their livestock. Teachers are also some of the toughest people I know- giving their hearts to every student in the classroom, sacrificing many hours to make sure each student receives the very best education, while providing a safe space to thrive and grow.
    5. Rancher’s wives are in a perpetual state of learning- I can now AI cows, pull a calf, run a swather, bale hay, vaccinate calves, and feed 50 hungry men in one sitting. I do not need to tell you, as teachers, about the desire for continual learning.

    With all of this in mind, I think the number one thing that they both have in common is the ability to persevere- persevering through weather, sickness, emotional roller coasters, and state mandates- the list is long. We are tough and we can withstand most storms that come our way. Stay strong, stay true to what you love, and most of all, support each other- we got this.

  • Faith, Optimism, and Letting Go

    Okay, it is true- I may be a bit of a control freak. If we are truly honest with ourselves, we all may have some form of this classic syndrome. Unfortunately, we tend to crave control over things that are completely out of our control. But isn’t that human nature? Do we crave this control as a form of personal vindication? As a means to create an understanding of that which we fail to fathom?  As a rancher’s wife and a rancher’s mom, I am a testimony to this need to control that which is uncontrollable.  I was not born into ranching, but I have had the privilege of watching and learning from a community of men and women who exemplify this profession. All ranchers must accept that which is beyond their scope of power- blizzards, drought, too much rain, forty-five mile an hour winds during fire season, alfalfa weevils and grasshoppers during haying season, sub-zero temperatures during calving, fluctuating cattle prices, rising cost of feed, the hefty cost of equipment, that crazy new first calf heifer that really does not want to claim its baby, and the list goes on. The question is why do they continue? Anyone who has been around a rancher understands the power of eternal optimism, true faith and the promise of what next year will bring. They understand what all of us may still be learning- that the only thing we can control is how we respond rather than the situation itself. They cannot control the path of a blizzard, but ranchers will ensure their cows and horses are located in an area with the greatest protection. They cannot stop the wind during a drought, but they can have the portable water tanks full and on the back of a pickup ready to help a neighbor in need. Ranchers cannot tell a heifer all the reasons why she needs to be nicer to her baby, but they can have the warm pen ready and a calf bottle in hand to help that baby survive. So, let’s take a lesson from our local ranchers. Stop trying to control that which is not ours to control; rather, let us start controlling our response. I know that this is something I need to work on every day. How liberating it must be to just let go! Try it with me….

  • It is all about the raisins..

    Where did summer go? It is already August, about time for me to go back to teaching, and I am wondering how time flew by so fast. That really is the story for all of us- where did the time go? My husband and I celebrated our 37th wedding anniversary in May of this year. I will admit, I am very proud of this milestone. There is no real significance to 37 years, but for me it was something special. Why? Not sure, but I have spent a lot of time in reflection this year. Our life has not been a storybook of beautiful rainbows and sunshine. It has been a roller coaster of highs and lows, no different than anyone else, but we have weathered it together. Many have asked us how we make it work- divorce is so common that longevity in marriage is not that common anymore. Well, there really is no big secret- just a word called commitment. And of course, there are the little things- like the raisins. This crazy summer found my husband and I on the road quite often, hauling mares to be bred, horses to trainers, cows to pasture, and several short weekends for a quick getaway. Everyone knows that road trips require snacks- for us it seems to always be trail mix. If only someone would make trail mix without raisins! As we were venturing down the road one hot summer day, I was behind the wheel as my husband handed me my share of the trail mix. I would just open my hand, he would put the trail mix in, and I would shove it in my mouth like a starving glutton. I always feel lucky – I never get the raisins that I so dislike in each dump. But how??? I glanced over before I asked for my next handful and watched my husband. He was picking out each raisin and eating them before he gave my share. He doesn’t like raisins either. But he was doing this for me…. So simple and small, but it meant the world to me. That, folks, is what makes it work- the little everyday things that do not require a pat on the back, profound thank-you’s, and special recognition. Small sacrifices, unbeknownst to the receiver, all for the simple pleasure of demonstrating your love for another. Yup, it really is just about the raisins…

    And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13:13

  • Well, I Heard…

    Well, I heard... three of the most dangerous words I know. It seems that every time I hear these three words, they are followed by gossip. And to be truly honest, I have heard these words come out of my own mouth, followed by things that I have heard and feel like I should pass on to another. What is the purpose of passing on information that may or may not be true, engaging in conversations that may hurt another? Imagine if we change the narrative- we start following the words “well, I heard” with a positive, uplifting statement rather than a negative, unkind statement? Other people’s woes, struggles, and misfortunes should not be the center of our conversations. Let’s try it- the next time you find yourself engaging in gossip, whether as the giver or receiver, shake it up and share a positive comment or reply with a kind word. Let’s celebrate each other rather than denigrate each other. I truly believe that we will leave these conversations with a new personal sense of integrity. Let us start aligning our actions with our values. I think I will start right now… 

    Well, I heard that we must love our neighbors as ourselves.  (Leviticus 19:18) 

    Well, I heard that we should do to others what you would have them do to you. (Matthew 7:12) 

    It really is that easy…

  • Summer Break

    This one is for all my fellow teachers and parents…

    It’s here people- summer break. Not sure how this year went for all of you, but I feel like this year whipped by me and I have been running to catch up- which reminds me of airports. I know- where the heck is she going with this? Bear with me…This spring found me on both sides of the country- west to Orcas Island, Washington, east to Washington DC with 21 juniors and seniors, and then to Philadelphia. This means multiple airports with multiple connecting flights. Just once when I fly, I would love to arrive and depart from the same terminal… but alas, that is just a dream. Thank the airport gods for supplying moving walkways. It is these moving walkways that really have me thinking- why am I always on the left and cruising along, worrying about my next gate, while passing the people who stay on the right and rest their weary legs and take it all in? What is the hurry? Yes, there are times when sprinting from one gate to the next is necessary- but let’s be honest- do we really need to be there in time to stand in line forever waiting to board the plane? Yup, you travelers know what I am talking about. But that is me- always in a hurry, charging forward, forgetting to slow down, getting frustrated with those who stand on the left (how dare they) and be present. That is how this school year felt for me- staying to the left, cruising along, focusing on what is coming ahead, and forgetting to enjoy the ride. So, my goal this summer is the three R’s- rest in June, rejuvenate in July, and refocus in August. I am going to stay to the right, slow down, rest my wild soul, enjoy the ride, and learn how to be better at being in the present. Join me. Life is just too short to be otherwise…

  • Not My Plan

    I can truly tell you that creating a site to post blogs has never been on my radar- until now. I love to tell stories, but putting into words all the crazy things that make their way into my thoughts and actions is not quite as easy. Sometimes we need to hear the laughter from others as they hear about our embarrassing moments, see their tears when they truly understand our sorrow, or just that sincere expression of interest that indicates that we really are not alone. Putting words down, sharing through something as unpersonal as the internet is a little scary! I guess I am just a woman who likes feedback- in any form. So why? Why take the risk? I believe it is God’s plan- not mine. The need to reach out, to share, to explore and to make connections with those who are on the same quest is real. So here I go…. let’s see where this journey in words will take me.